Deep Sadness
by LeopardsDen
Summary: Drabble: What if Kaiba had finally had enough of his horrible messed up life? What if he couldn't take anymore? WARNING: dark concept from beginning to end. Mentions of rape/abuse. Suicide. Mentions of self harm.


From the outside Seto Kaiba was a man of power, he was one of the guys everyone would want to be themselves; he had everything. So everyone thought.

Seto was in actual facts a very depressed person. Growing up with Gozaburo Kaiba as a father definitely had its low points.

The first memory Seto has when he first entered his new 'home' with Gozaburo was him telling him not to touch this or that otherwise there would be extreme consequences.

Mokuba never saw the dark side of Gozaburo Kaiba; Seto made sure of that.

If Mokuba had ever done anything wrong, Seto would always tell Gozaburo it was him, or if he's seen Mokuba do it, then he would say he had made Mokuba do it. He always believed him.

Gozaburo Kaiba was the worst foster father anyone could ever wish for: fact.

All Seto keeps remembering was all the punishments he had and the ones he took for his dear little brother, Mokuba.

Seto was sitting on the bay window of his apartment reminiscing about the past, he was feel increasingly depressed lately, Mokuba had noticed.

Seto was tired of telling him he was fine and didn't need any counseling like Mokuba kept offering, Mokuba was persistent as usual.

He felt tears prick at his eyes for the first time in years, he was thinking sbout the first sexual encounter he had with Gozaburo.

Seto was twelve years old at this time in his dreadful life. He remembers every word Gozaburo had told him "you deserve this, it's what you'll always deserve. You're nothing. Pathetic" Seto remembers these words the most, maybe because they hurt the most.

Along Seto's trip down memory lane he remembered the time Mokuba broke the very expensive vase on Gozaburo's mantle piece, he gave Mokuba some money to go buy something quickly before Gozaburo came down the four flights of stairs from his study, he told his brother he would take the blame, and pretend Mokuba was out this whole time.

Mokuba left just in time. Gozaburo was shouting really loud before entering the room. He beat Seto until he passed out screaming.

Before Mokuba returned Seto had woken up and Gozaburo told him to lie about what happened; he did.

When Mokuba returned Seto told him that when Gozaburo came down shouting he had panicked and ran up the stairs; tripping and fell down them. He told Mokuba that he was fine: another lie.

Seto; still on his bay windowsill looked at his arms; laced with purple scars and blood red cuts; fresh.

He pondered on what the point to his existence was, before Yugi he was the best duelist. Now he's not, he is shamed upon and laughed at.

There is only a certain amount of people putting you down you can take: Set was at his limit.

Seto had been having these feelings before, he had already tried to end it all three times.

Tears was now rolling down his face as he picks up a notepad and pen and begins writing:

"Mokuba, This is the last time I will be able to comunicate

with you, this is the final words that will ever come from the

man named Seto Kaiba, well the shell of a man. I hope one

day you will understand why it has come to this. I will leave

diaries, the collection I have had since I was six years old,

they are in the trunk at the bottom of my bed in this

apartment. The key is usually around my neck, but as you

read this, I will be no more. I think that might be too much

for you dear brother. The key will be on top of the trunk. I

only want you to see these diaries, please don't share

them. I don't want to be remembered like that. Mokuba,

please stay safe and healthy, please marry and have

children, please continue living for me. Be happy Mokuba.

I wont be here to protect you anymore, but you're old

enough now, I know you can do it. I'm sorry I can't be here

for you anymore, I can't take this pain anymore. I have

carried it far too long, I hope you understand.

I love you - Seto Kaiba

Seto ripped the page out of the notebook and placed it on the kitchen tabled and marked the outside with the words "dearest brother Mokuba.

Seto walked into his bedroom and rummaged for the rope in his closet, he tied it into a perfect noose; always ocd perfect until the end.

He pulled up a chair under the light fitment and tied the noose perfectly to it.

He pondered for a moment whether it was the right thing to do, in that moment he decided it was.

Seto pushed his head through the loop designed to fit his head. "no regrets" he told himself and kicked the chair over leaving his body hanging; his breathing had suddenly became hard to grasp.

As Seto was hanging there, his thoughts was only of Mokuba and how much he loved his brother.

"I want to live" he choked out with restricted breath.

He struggled and struggled trying to pull the rope, but it was too late his world went black.

I love you Mokuba.


End file.
